


A Time to Live

by gamicgallimaufry



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Absent Steve Rogers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Pucky, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-29 04:14:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3881872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamicgallimaufry/pseuds/gamicgallimaufry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is away on a mission for the first time since Bucky recovered.</p><p>Peggy realises that Steve hasn't been doing what he should to emotionally take care of Bucky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Balancing Act

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU where Peggy came back around the same time Steve did, and Bucky came back later and was recovered from his Winter Soldier state by SHIELD, then released to live with Peggy and Steve. This is the first in a series of them all navigating their new relationship.
> 
> As I said in my other fic, I've only got back into this stuff recently so if there's anything anyone would like me to tw or cw, let me know! Other than that, enjoy :)

Steve was gone and had been for weeks now. He was doing some sort of Avengers mission and hadn’t told them when to expect him home. Peggy was curled up on their bed in some leggings and one of Steve’s jumpers, watching crappy movies on her laptop and trying not to mope too much, she missed Steve so much and was trying not to worry about him because she knew he’d be fine. Of course he would. But she would still have that knot in her tummy until she saw him again.

  
She heard their bedroom door open and Bucky’s voice asking if he could watch. She nodded, not looking away from the movie, and felt him slide under the fluffy blanket with her, his mechanic arm wrapping around her waist. He was comfortable and warm so she leant back into him a little bit, which is when she noticed his breath was halting as though he was having difficulties breathing. She frowned a little, he was probably horny — they didn’t really have a relationship together outside of doing the things that Steve wasn’t into. They had been doing a lot of experimenting and kinky stuff since Steve had left, and they’d been spending time as friends, but Peggy’s body was tired and her heart was sore from Steve being away for so long so she wasn’t in the mood for any of the stuff they did together right now. She decided to just keep watching the movie and if Bucky tried to initiate, she’s turn him down then. There was no harm in him holding her and watching a movie.

  
A few more minutes passed and Peggy was a little confused by the lack of initiation, so she pushed back against him to see if there were any indicators of him being turned on, under the guise of changing how she was lying. There was nothing there to say he was horny, and she would know if there were, there was no missing that. What she did notice was him sniffling a little bit.

  
She rolled over quickly and let out a little gasp when she saw that his eyes were red and wet, he tried to hide his face but she grabbed his chin with her hand.  “Oh James, what’s wrong honey? It’s okay, it’s okay I’m here.” His cheeks were splodgy with red and she realised he’d probably been crying for quite a long time, she just hadn’t realised because she hadn’t looked at him when he came into the room. “James honey, talk to me?” That seemed to make him sniffle more, but she kept his head facing her with her hand, and stroked his hair with her other. She was worried, she’d never seen him like this — Steve had told her about the panic attacks but she’d never seen one and this didn’t seem panicky anyway, he just looked so sad it was breaking her heart to look at him.

  
“I miss Steve. I’m worried.” He barely managed to get the words out between sniffles and gasping for breath, and saying it seemed to make it worse for him as his eyes welled up again. Peggy realised that this was the first time Steve had really been gone since Bucky came home with them after the main part of his recovery was over a few months ago. Steve had been putting off tasks for ages, and rushing home when he could, because he’d been worried about Bucky but this had been necessary. Peggy was somewhat used to it from before Bucky had come back, but it hadn’t quite clicked for her that Bucky didn’t know that Steve always came back. She felt bad for not trying to do more to reassure him earlier, he shouldn’t have had to deal with this alone.

  
“Oh James sweetheart, he’s okay. He’s always okay. He’ll come back, I promise. It’s okay sweetie, I’m here, don’t worry.” She stroked his hair as she spoke, looking him directly in the eyes as she spoke to try to convince him that it was true, his eyes didn’t look quite so wet and his breathing was going back to normal.

  
“He’ll come back for you, Steve loves you honey, he won’t let you go again.” Bucky broke her eye contact when she said Steve loved him. His face distorted a little bit and he looked like he might start crying again. He moved away from her a little but she kept hold of him. He doesn’t believe me, she thought, horrified. How could he not believe her that Steve loved him?

  
“Hey, Bucky, babe, look at me please.” He looked back at her with newly wet eyes. “Honey, you know Steve and I both love you, right? We adore you.” Again he looked away, and she could feel her own eyes welling up too. He really didn’t believe her. The movie was still playing on the laptop behind her so she reached over and closed it, pushing the laptop onto the floor with a clunk, she didn’t really care about it right now but it would probably be fine.

  
“Sweetie, please talk to me? Why don’t you believe me? We really really love you.” Every time she said it he seemed to get more upset, she didn’t know what to do so she begged, “Bucky honey, please tell me what’s wrong?”.

  
He gasped raggedly, tears pouring down his face now. He wiped his face clumsily with his mechanic hand and then scowled when he realised it didn’t actually help with the wetness at all.  
“It’s you and Steve. You’re in love. It was you two before the war, and now I’m here, Steve just humours me, and you only want to do with me what Steve doesn’t want to do. I’m just an add-on.” Peggy had to stop her jaw from dropping. She couldn’t believe he felt like that, that they’d let him feel like that. This wasn’t just about Steve being gone, this had obviously been building up for a while. She silently cursed Steve for not being here, and had to try to stop herself from wailing. Her heart was breaking for Bucky.

  
She put her hands on both sides of his head and kissed him, very softly, giving him plenty of room to move away if he needed to but still holding him firmly enough to show she meant it.  “James Barnes”, she said as she broke the kiss, her face still millimetres from his, “I love you so much. I adore you. I don’t see how you couldn’t-”. She stopped and moved away as, again appalled at herself, she realised that was the first time she had kissed him. When the three of them were together, Steve was the one who started with both of them, and she would only kiss Steve. When she and Bucky were having their fun, they didn’t kiss — they got rough with each other almost instantly and went into roles and then would just lie and hold each other after. They had never kissed. She thought back again and realised they’d also never really had sex, at least not in the traditional definition — they’d given each other oral, they’d used hands and toys, but it wasn’t part of their scenes, and when they were with Steve he would usually have sex with one of them while the other watched. Of course she could see how he felt like they - or at least she - didn't love him, how could he not feel like that with how they had treated him.

  
“James, sweetie, I always thought it was Steve you liked. At least, he told me he’d never seen you interested in women, and I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable. You seemed fine with the stuff we did, but when we were with Steve, you only seemed interested in him. I thought he would be doing what he could to make sure you were happy. Bucky, I love you, okay? It’s okay if you’re not attracted to me, but I really do love you and you need to believe that.” She had always backed away from doing things with Bucky, Steve had told her about him being interested in guys a long time ago, before any of them were frozen, and she had never really seen any evidence to the contrary. Yeah they did sexual things together, but that often seemed to be somewhat removed from their own sexualities anyway, so it didn’t seem relevant.

  
Bucky was frowning now, looking very confused. “I don’t understand. Peggy, I liked you way back then. But you were always Steve’s girl. You only had eyes for him, and I would never have done anything with his girl anyway. I came back and Steve made a move and invited me to move in, but he was still head over heels for you so he only wanted me as a play thing.” His speech was still stumbling and his voice was cracking from the emotion but he’d stopped crying at least. Peggy, however, had started. She was sobbing, feeling waves of guilt rushing over her, even though she knew it wasn’t really her fault.

  
“Oh James, no, no. Sweetie when you went away for the first time” — she used their euphemism for his supposed death — “Steve cried for months. I cried too. I didn’t know you all that well but you were my friend and you were Steve’s best friend. Both of us were a mess. I realised around then that Steve had been in love with you, he regretted so much not telling you.” Bucky had buried his face in her neck as he started crying again and she wrapped her arms around him, stroking his back softly.

  
“We dealt with it then, we mourned and everything. Then you came back, but you were different, and even after you started your recovery with SHIELD, Steve was a wreck. He was heartbroken all over again, and he wouldn’t let himself hope that he had a second chance with you. I was just trying to keep him going. Then when I went to visit you that first time by myself, to make sure it was okay for Steve to come visit, I realised how glad I was that you were back too. How much I wanted you to be okay. You kept getting better but Steve was getting worse at home, he kept getting angry at me and I didn’t understand it. Then eventually one day, he told me he wanted to have a chance with you, but he didn’t want our relationship to end, and he couldn’t decide between us. Swear to god, Bucky, I almost knocked him out right there and then. He was in so much pain over such a silly thing. I said he could do what he wanted with you, that he could have whatever relationship the two of you wanted, as long as he never thought about leaving me again.”

  
Bucky was sobbing pretty badly into her, and for once she really wished she wasn’t as small as she was compared to Steve and Bucky — usually it was fun to be able to be lifted around easily, but she just wanted to wrap Bucky up in her arms and comfort him. As it was, she could barely reach her arms around his body. She squeezed him gently and rested one hand on his head as she continued.

  
“Oh James sweetie, you don’t know how happy we both were when you finally started to seem okay. Steve asked if he could bring you here and I said it would be perfect. I always thought that you only liked him, and that you and he could have a relationship and he and I could have a relationship. It was up to him to make sure that was okay, and he obviously hasn’t. But sweetie, I love you so much and there have been so many times that I’ve wanted you so much but I didn’t want to upset you by doing anything, there are so many times that I wanted to take you on a date or to cuddle up with you or even just kiss you. I’ve told Steve about it before and he really liked the idea of all of us being together properly, but he never figured you’d go for it. I assumed he’d asked you, but of course he didn’t, the big idiot just guessed. Ugh, I’m so angry at him right now. But Bucky, honey, this isn’t your fault, this is my fault and it’s Steve’s fault. We were meant to be looking after you, we were the ones who messed up with the whole communication thing. We want you to be part of our family as much as we’re a part of each other’s.” Bucky was holding onto her pretty tightly, enough that she was struggling a little bit to breathe, but she didn't want to do anything other than try to make sure he believed her this time. “James, can you look at me?”

  
He sniffled a little bit and then looked up, his wide, watery eyes meeting hers. “James, I love you. Do you understand?” He nodded a little bit. “Do you believe me?” He hesitated and then nodded. “Can you tell me how you feel?” He took a deep breath as if to speak, and then nodded, Peggy couldn’t help but smile a little, she was just about to nudge him to actually tell her when he started speaking, very quietly and gently.

  
“I feel- I’m really glad you told me all that. I think would really like for us all to be together, to be a family. I-”, he hesitated and she noticed a little bit of a blush coming into his cheeks, “I love you too, Peggy.” He said it in a whisper so quietly that it was barely a breath.


	2. A Moment Shared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy appreciates Bucky and begins to show him that she really does care for him like she cares for Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Chapter 2 of "A Time to Live", an AU where Peggy is in the future with Bucky and Steve, and they're in the early stages of a poly relationship.
> 
> Let me know if you want anything tagged or whatever. I'm still fairly new to this!
> 
> I've just started a tumblr, where I'm happy to take prompts, so feel free to visit me there. It's pretty empty at the minute but I will be using it! http://gamicgallimaufry.tumblr.com/

Peggy held him in silence for a little while longer, stroking his hair and listening as his breathing evened out to be almost back to normal. She kissed the top of his head and squeezed him tight, then started to detach herself from him. “I’m going to go get some tissues and a drink. Do you want anything? Water? Juice? Beer?”

 

He tilted his head a little as he thought, “Just water is fine. I’m not sure alcohol would be such a good idea.”

 

She nodded and gave him a quick kiss before clambering out of the bed and going into the kitchen to grab everything. She was barely gone for a minute but when she got back, Bucky was sitting up in the bed with his shirt off. She looked quizzically at him as she handed him the tissues. He blew his nose first, then said “I got too warm under the blanket, and my shirt was damp from the crying. I can put it back on if you want?”

 

Peggy laughed and shook her head, “No, no, I would never complain about a room with a view. Here, drink some water, you need to hydrate after all that water you wasted!” He took the glass from her and gulped some of it while she got under the blanket with him, this time able to cozy up against his chest rather than him against hers. He set the glass down on the bedside table and took his chance to squeeze her gently, producing a giggle.

 

“Hey, Pegs, you didn’t get to finish your movie! Do you want to watch it now? I’m sorry for interrupting it.”

 

She shook her head, rolling her eyes at him apologising, “Don’t be silly, sweetie. It wasn’t a good movie and I’d rather just pay attention to you instead.” She noticed him watching her lips as she spoke and wondered if maybe he still wasn’t confident enough to kiss her, so she tilted her head up and pulled his head down with a hand behind his head to kiss him. This kiss was a little different to the ones earlier, Bucky seemed more engaged in it, he held her waist with his metal arm while his fleshy hand cupped Peggy’s face gently. His lips parted to be met by hers sucking at his lower lip. He sighed into her mouth and lazily nudged her lips open with his tongue. The kiss was long and slow, their lips and tongues getting to know each other and their hands wandering delicately to hold the two of them together.

 

When they finally broke away, Peggy pressed one of her hands against his chest, feeling the muscles ripple beneath as he inhaled. She could feel his heart pounding as her hand moved, and then she brushed his nipple and felt him tense up. “Sensitive?”

 

She smiled as she moved to kiss his neck, brushing her fingers over his nipple once again. He tensed again, and she felt his breath catch as she licked at where she was kissing his neck. “Just a little, ma’am”. They often referred to each other with military terms when they were fooling around before.

 

“How about we leave those names for now. How about for now you’re just Bucky and I’m just Peggy?”

 

“Whatever you say ma’am”. She swatted at his face, lightly, and then had to grab his shoulders to steady herself as he pretty much lifted her by the waist to put her on his lap, straddling him. She felt glad again that she was as little as she was, she really did enjoy being picked up and moved around. Usually it was Steve doing it, but it was just as nice with Bucky — he wasn’t quite as strong as Steve but it didn’t matter for little bits of manhandling. She slid her arms up around his neck and knotted her fingers into his hair, kissing him again as she did.

 

“Bucky, you know I really have been waiting for this for a very long time?” She rocked her hips against his, trying not to laugh when he tipped his head back, eyes closed, and let out a guttural moan. “If I hadn’t happened across Steve first, I probably would have tried this back then.” She kissed him softly and then nipped his lower lip with her teeth as she rocked into him again. He moaned again and then moved his hands to her hips, putting a little bit of pressure on them to rock again.

 

He kept her rocking, slowly but enough that it felt good. He was distracted as he said, “Peggy, I would have given an arm and a leg to do this back then.” Peggy stopped rocking and looked him dead in the eye before collapsing against him in a fit of giggles, Bucky realised what he’d said and chuckled, “Well… at least I only had to give an arm?” He stroked her back with his metal fingers, raising his eyebrow when she shivered at the feel of the metal through Steve’s hoody. “Hmm, it seems a bit unfair that I don’t have a top on and you do, doesn’t it?” His hand slipped under the hem of the sweater to rest against the skin in the small of her back.

 

“You’re not very subtle, sweetie. But you’re right, it’s not fair.” She smirked as she pulled the hoody up over her head, making sure to give Bucky as gratuitous a view of her body as possible. She had barely gotten the hoody up over her shoulders before she felt his hands on her breasts, cupping them gently as she through the clothing on the floor. He leaned in and kissed one of her nipples while he pinched the other, rolling it between his fingertips. She gasped at the feel of his lips on her and then sighed as she felt the warmth travel through her body. “God, Bucky. That’s really good, that’s really fucking nice.” That seemed to encourage him further as he grazed her nipple with his teeth before sucking at it.

 

She pressed her hips down in his lap, grinding against his very noticeable erection. She took his chin in her hands, pulling him off her breast and pressing her lips against his. He moaned into her, his lips parting for her tongue, which he met with his. They kissed lazily, his hands toying with her breasts and her hips grinding against him, both of them eliciting moans from the other.

 

Eventually Bucky broke away from the kiss, looking at her with a pained look, “Peggy, please, I can’t do this much more. Can- can I fuck you?” She giggled at how serious he was about it, he seemed almost apologetic.

 

“Oh gosh, of course you can sweetie.” She nuzzled her face against his then whispered in his ear, “Fuck me, please.” It took him no time at all to lift her off him so he could pull his trousers and underwear off, she took it as her cue to take off her own leggings and knickers. They all got thrown on the floor in a pile together. He moved his hand to between her legs but she shook her head, “Sweetie, I’m ready to go. Can we just go? We’ve done that stuff before. I want to try something new.” His breath hitched and she could see his pupils dilate immediately, he had apparently been rendered voiceless because he just nodded in response.

 

Peggy went back to straddling him, but grabbed his cock to position it so she could lower herself onto it, Bucky grabbed the back of her thighs, spreading her legs open. She was already so wet from them grinding, after almost a month of Steve being gone and therefore her not getting any makeout sessions, that it didn’t take much effort at all to get Bucky in the right place. As she started pressing down, he slid in easily, moaning as he did so. Peggy tipped her head back, her whole back arching, as she took him in inch-by-inch. Her breathing was loud and heavy, more like panting as he leaned forward to kiss her breasts again, sucking at each nipple in turn.

 

“Fuck, Bucky. _Fuck._ Who knew you would feel so good?” She moaned the words with a clenched jaw then let out a loud wordless exclamation as he thrust up into her, holding her in place by her hips. She breathed as though he had winded her, almost whimpering as he pulled out again, even though it was only a small bit.

 

Bucky was just moaning every time she moved, his hands sliding from her hips, to her ass, to her waist and back again. “You’re so fucking soft. You’re just-” she shifted her hips again, causing him to grunt, “Ugh, Peggy, I love you.”

 

She looked him straight in the eye and her face creased into a broad smile, he was flushed and his eyes were fiery with attraction. She was drinking in all the senses, from the heat everywhere their bodies touched to the feel of his muscles underneath her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close against her so they were both sitting upright, her lips pressed against his jawbone. “I love you too, Bucky. You mean the world to me.” They stayed like that, wrapped around each other, as she began to rock her hips again, giving him gentle hickeys on his neck as she did so.

 

It didn’t take long before Bucky was panting hard despite Peggy having kept their rhythm fairly slow and regular. “Pegs, I’m not sure I can hold on much longer”, he bit his lip and let out a moan, “Sorry, I just, I can’t do much more”. Peggy leant back from their embrace to look at him for a moment, her face flushed, then she kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his lips - where he tried to hold her for longer, then went back to her face nestled against his neck. “Bucky Barnes, don’t you ever apologise to me for feeling good. Come for me, sweetie.” Her voice was low and gravelly, and it brought Bucky even closer to his edge, “Are- are you sure Peggy? You’re not-”, she bit his neck to get him to stop talking, causing a yelp. “I’m not, but you are. Please James, fill me.”

 

That was it, he couldn’t hold on after that, his grip on her hips tightened and he rocked her faster on him. She stroked his hair and kissed his neck, whispering encouragements, _yes Bucky, that’s it, that’s it sweetie, keep going, come for me my love_. He managed a few seconds more before his whole body began to tense up, Peggy immediately planted her lips on his, drawing him into a deep kiss as he moaned into her. She felt him thrust deep into her twice, finishing into her as he did a few more shallow thrusts, she clenched her muscles to try to get the most out of him, causing him to moan again.

 

As he stopped thrusting and she felt him softening, she broke their kiss and instead cradled his head against her neck, still running her fingers through his hair, “Bucky, sweetie, that was amazing. I love you so much. Thank you, you’re wonderful.” Bucky seemed to have lost his strength because he fell backwards onto the pillows again, Peggy falling with him but her hips shifting to allow him to slip out of her. She lay on her side next to him, her head propped up on her hand, watching his face intently as he pulled up the blankets over him, he didn’t look particularly happy. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

 

He looked at her, his face uncertain, “You didn’t finish. I came too quickly. I’m sorry.” Peggy rolled her eyes, men _always_ seemed to do this. It had taken her months with Steve to convince him that she didn’t necessarily want to orgasm every time but if she did, she would. Apparently Bucky would take the same convincing. “Bucky, don’t be silly. I wanted to be intimate with you, and I wanted to help show you how much I love you. It felt lovely and close and it was so gentle, it was beautiful. If I wanted to finish, I would have, and I would have showed you how to help me. But it wasn’t about me, I wanted to try to make up for neglecting you. I enjoyed it, sweetie. Honestly, why do men think that sex is the same for you as it is for women? It’s as though none of you have been with women before.”

 

She said it lazily, without thinking, and Bucky had been paying attention to her with a half-lidded gaze, but a moment after she said that, his eyes widened and he blushed. She thought of what Steve had said about having only seen Bucky with men. “Buck-” she hesitated, not quite sure how to ask, “Sweetie, was that your first- eh, your first time with a woman?” She couldn’t help but notice how cute he looked as he bit his lip and nodded. “I mean, I’ve kissed women before, and I’ve done those other things with you, but yeah, I guess it was.” He looked embarrassed and tried to turn his face away as she giggled a little, but she held his jaw to keep him looking at her, “Bucky, you were absolutely perfect. Really, it was beautiful. I loved it. I love you, okay?” She kissed him softly and he wrapped her up in a hug.

 

They lay cuddling each other in silence under the blanket for a while before Peggy heard Bucky’s breathing change and realised he was asleep. She probably should have gotten up to clean herself up, and the sheets definitely needed changed since she hadn’t tried to stop his come running out of her, but she was too tired after all the emotions that had gone through her. So she just snuggled against him, ignoring the mess she felt between her legs, and let herself drift to sleep in the warmth of his arms.

 


	3. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little short chapter from Steve's point of view. I thought about putting it as the start of the next, longer chapter but I'm trying to work on making POVs clearer, so switching in the middle of a chapter doesn't really help that!
> 
> I hope you enjoy, feel free to request trigger tags, or whatever. I'd love to get feedback, even gentle critiquing, but I'm still warming up with this whole writing thing, so do be gentle please :)
> 
> I do have a tumblr here: [http://gamicgallimaufry.tumblr.com/](http://gamicgallimaufry.tumblr.com/)  
> It's still fairly new so there's not a lot on it other than reblogs and stuff, but I'd love to start taking prompts, hearing headcanons or just getting general interactions, so hit me up!

It was almost dawn when Steve opened the door, easing it as quietly as he could. It had been a rough mission with more complications than they had expected and a lot of waiting between events, but it was finally over and he was pretty tired, although he’d slept the whole flight home so some of the mental exhaustion had been eased. He had also been homesick after being away for so long for the first time in a long time, the past few days of being away and throughout debriefing he had been so distracted just by thoughts of home. Of course Tony had been making jokes about how “innocent Cap” couldn’t possibly be fantasising, and he wasn’t — he was daydreaming of cooking for Peggy and Bucky, of cuddling up with them on the sofa, of going out for walks with them in the park near their house. The sex would be nice, but it was the intimacy that he missed, and even just having people around him who knew him so well. He always found missions stressful, they quite often flung him back to wartime and he usually got nightmares of the time he thought he’d lost Bucky, so being home and not having to explain all that was something he missed.

 

He set his kit bag down as gently as possible and then took off his shoes so he could move around quietly. He assumed that at least Bucky would be home and sleeping, Peggy might be over at Pepper or Nat’s but Bucky was a homebird and would probably still be here. Any time Steve had been away for a night or two, Peggy had slept in the spare room — it was, officially, “her” room after all, with her wardrobe and vanity table in it, even if she only used it as a dressing room when he was there — and Buck had slept in their bed, but Steve had been away for so long that part of him was slightly worried that one or both of them would have just disappeared again, moved out or got themselves in trouble.

 

Padding through the house softly in his socks, he went first to the spare room, sliding the door open a crack to peep inside. Peggy’s stuff was all still there, but the bed was made and obviously hadn’t been slept in, so Peggy mustn’t be home. He wondered if he should send her a text now or at a more sensible time of day to let her know he was home. She still wasn’t used to turning her phone on silent at night, forgetting that phones did other things than calls so late-night contact wasn’t necessarily an emergency, so he decided to wait until later on. Not too much later though, Tony might be back at Pepper’s soon, and Clint might stop by Nat’s on the way to his, and Peggy would be furious if she found out he was back through them rather than him. No, he’d let her know as soon as the sun was fully risen outside, that seemed reasonable.

 

Next Steve tip-toed along to the door of his own room — their room — and pushed it open as well. He still hadn’t decided what he’d do, whether he’d wake Buck up right away, or climb into bed and get some sleep, or just hang about until he woke up, but he wanted to check that Bucky hadn’t left him first. He had mentally prepared himself for quite a few things: Bucky being there as expected; Bucky having decided to leave to live somewhere else; Bucky being there but anxious or having a nightmare; Bucky being there with some stranger because he thought Steve wasn’t coming back; even Bucky having disappeared with no trace of where he went. What Steve hadn’t prepared for, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind, was Bucky being there _with Peggy_ and both of them being naked and wrapped around each other. The blanket covered them from the waist down but it was obvious from the outline that their legs were as intertwined as their arms and torsos.

 

Steve stopped breathing, and he would almost swear that his heart stopped beating for a moment. He had a flood of far too many emotions to deal with in his exhausted state. There was joy that both of them were still there, curiosity for how they ended up like this, annoyance that he hadn’t been home sooner to maybe experience this, and even a slight twinge of jealousy and insecurity that they might have decided they didn’t need him if they had each other. He knew those last ones were silly, that neither Bucky nor Peggy would have replaced him, but it was his tired self, vulnerable from memories of his past, that was saying those things. The strongest feeling he felt was a crashing wave of love, hitting him with such force that he had to consciously start breathing again. Here were the two people he had loved most in the world for such a long time, both of whom  he’d thought he’d have to live the rest of his life without only a couple of years ago, and now they seemed to be as close, as intimate, as he felt with both of them. He wasn’t even particularly aroused by it, he was too shocked for that aspect to sink in yet, he was just head over heels in love.

 

So, as a sign that he’d truly adjusted to the future, he obviously took a photo on his phone of Peggy and Bucky wrapped up together. He wanted to draw them like that, maybe even do a painting, but Peggy was such a shallow sleeper that he knew she’d wake up too soon and he’d lose his reference. This way it was immortalised and he could take from it what he wanted. The synthetic shutter sound of his phone’s camera seemed to rouse Peggy slightly and Steve froze, but all she did was roll over slightly to face him, still obviously fast asleep. It was a shame, it meant she’d detached herself from Bucky’s arms, but at least Steve had that photo to look at with lovelorn. He stepped back, quiet as a ghost, and padded back through the house to the kitchen to start making breakfast for his sweethearts.


	4. Good Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy wakes up to find Steve home, at first she's thrilled but then she remembers her conversation with Bucky last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another shorter chapter. I'm caught up in university stuff at the minute but it's nice to be able to take breaks to write this!
> 
> I love hearing what you all think of it, so let me know. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Peggy’s eyes flew open when she heard the sound of a drawer closing in the kitchen downstairs. She tensed as she tried to think of what to do, they’d never really discussed what would happen if there was an intruder, but whoever they were, they were being a bit careless so she had time to think as long as she was quiet enough and didn’t spook them. She slid out of bed as silently as she could and grabbed her dressing gown off the back of the door from between Bucky’s fluffy black dressing gown and Steve’s ‘old man’ blue flannel one. Peggy’s, of course, was red and satiny - not exactly intruder-fighting gear but a little bit better than going out completely naked to encounter them. She was just about to open her bedside drawer to grab her little handgun that she kept there for comfort when she heard a new sound from the kitchen. Humming.

 

She knew that humming, it was Steve. Her breath caught and she stood straight up, her ears straining to make sure what she heard was real. She felt like her heart was in her mouth.

 

The hallway was colder than the bedroom and she slightly regretted not having put on more clothes when she knew what was happening but she wanted to see him right now, plus if it was still an intruder it would probably better to not wait too long. She went down the stairs, remembering which ones creaked and skipping them so she could surprise Steve. When she caught a glimpse of him through the gap in the kitchen doorway she had to fight to stay quiet, it _was_ him. She took the last few steps two at a time and didn’t bother trying to stay quiet anymore as she flung open the kitchen door.

 

Steve had barely turned around in surprise before Peggy had thrown her arms around his neck. She pressed her lips against his and moaned against him as he lifted her onto the counter, her legs wrapping around his waist as a natural reflex. After a moment or two, Steve pulled away grinning, “Well, that was a nice welcome. Hey Peggy.”

 

She giggled, “Steve, you’re _home_.” She bit her lip to try to stop herself from mirroring his grin, all of her worries about him being in danger or having left her had disappeared and she was just full of joy that he was here.

 

“I am home. I knew there was a reason to come back. Pretty, practically naked women jumping at me? Yeah I missed that. I missed _you_ , Peggy.” He laughed as Peggy looked down at herself and blushed, retying her dressing gown which had fallen open. She had forgotten that it was all she was wearing.

 

She looked up at him with her big hazel eyes, “I missed you too, Steve. I’m glad you’re okay. It’s been weird being without you for so long.” She stroked his new beard with a sigh, he obviously hadn’t shaved at all during the mission, she liked it, it accentuated his jaw. 

 

He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, “Really, are you sure you missed me? It looked like you had plenty of company with Buck.” Her eyes widened and she stopped stroking along his face, remembering what had happened with Bucky last night, what he had said to her and how sad he had seemed. It filled her with frustration again, as it had last night, so she slapped him. She slapped him hard on his cheek, a red mark forming almost instantly, it wouldn’t stay for long especially not with his super-healing, but it would smart enough in the mean time.

 

“ _Fuck_ , Pegs, ow. I was only teasing. The fuck was that for?” He stepped back a bit from her as her legs dropped from his waist, he was holding his cheek in one hand, confusion in his eyes.

 

Peggy scowled at him, her brow knitting together as she crossed her arms between them. She could feel tears welling in her own eyes, remembering Bucky’s emotions from last night, but she kept her voice even, if slightly higher pitched and angrier than usual. “He didn’t _know_ , Steve. He didn’t _know_. He thought I didn’t care about him, that we were just looking after him out of pity or something. Steve, he didn’t fucking know.”

 

Steve just looked even more confused, frowning at the same time, “Peggy, calm down and start at the start, I’m lost already. Do you mean Bucky?”

 

“Yes, I fucking mean Bucky. He thought I didn’t care about him because I always stayed away from him because he’s not fucking gay, Steve, which you would know if you ever asked him. And he thought you didn’t care about him because you made him feel like you were just using him because you never fucking told him. He didn’t know any of the stuff that happened when he was gone. Steve, how could you let him think that. Why didn’t you _talk_ to him.” Peggy was still angry but she let Steve wipe away the tears rolling down her cheeks and then hug her. She could tell he still didn’t really understand and she was going to have to explain properly, but she hugged him back anyway before hopping down from the counter.

 

She pointed at one of the chairs at their kitchen table, “Sit. We need to have a chat.” Steve didn’t dare disobey so he sat and Peggy sat opposite from him. She took a deep breath, “I need you to let me speak okay, and then after you can talk, but you let me speak first.” She stared at him until he shrugged and nodded, then relayed the events of last night to him. She told him as accurately as she could remember, barely pausing for breath and trying to avoid commentating on it because she knew if she strayed from the facts into her emotions she would just end up shouting at him again. She wasn’t necessarily angry at Steve, at least not completely, but she was so upset for Bucky and needed someone to vent that onto. Steve would forgive her, he would be fine with it. When she got to the end, she added, “So, since James and I have already spoken about it, it’s you two who need to talk. I’ll go out for the day or something to give you too space. I’m real glad you’re back Steve, but you’d better actually talk to him.”

 

Steve looked dumbstruck, he _was_ dumbstruck. Peggy had always told him he could be oblivious at times but he hadn’t realised he was _that_ oblivious. There was a lump in his throat and it was taking a lot of effort to keep his eyes drier than Peggy’s. “Yeah, okay. Well, do you wanna come with me now to wake him up? It might be easier with you there to start. You need to get dressed anyway.”

 

Peggy nodded and gave him a small smile as he got up looking incredibly guilty, “I know you didn’t mean to, honey. _He_ knows you didn’t mean to. He’s just so vulnerable and I guess neither of us realised how much he was keeping hidden.” Steve was looking at his feet in shame so she slipped her hand into his, squeezing it gently as she pulled him upstairs.

 

Bucky was still asleep, the man could sleep through anything when he actually got to sleep, it was the getting there bit that he usually had issues with, but Peggy had apparently been a good influence on him and he’d had a full night’s rest. Peggy lay on the bed behind him, pressing herself against his back and reached round to run her hands through his hair, pushing strands off his face as she whispered in his ear, “James, sweetie, look who’s here. Look who’s home.” Steve was kicking his shoes off as Bucky’s eyes fluttered open and he looked confused at first and then let out a little squeak of delight, pushing himself up to be sitting.

 

Peggy sat up with him but leaned away a bit as Steve hugged Bucky then kissed him softly. Steve sat on the bed as well, on Bucky’s other side, and put his arms around him, holding him tight as he murmured, “Buck, I’ve missed you so much. I really love you, y’know?”. Steve couldn’t see his face but Peggy could see that tremble, the same one she’d seen last night. She took one of his hands gently.

 

“Sweetie, I told Steve about last night”, Bucky looked down, looking red and embarrassed, “oh no, sweetie, it’s okay. Look, you two need to talk about all this, and it’s not going to work properly if I’m here so I’m going to go spend the day at Pepper’s, okay? I love you so much, Bucky, and if you want me to come back I will but you guys need to try to sort this out for yourselves. And hey, our hero is home, safe and sound, like I told you he would be, eh?” She saw his mouth twitch into a smile when she said that and he met her eyes, she nodded at him encouragingly and he gave her a little nod back. She knew he’d be okay.

 

She got off the bed again to go to her dressing room then turned around at the other side of the bed to lean across and kiss first Bucky then Steve, both just little pecks, then smiled as she said, “I love you _both_ , okay? Look after each other.” They both nodded and she walked out the door. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be a bit longer and will be from Bucky's point of view as he and Steve discuss things, with short bits of Peggy's point of view as she hangs out with Pepper. Since I do want it to be a bit more substantial, it'll take a while longer.


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